Lyrics
The fridge hums.Your phone lights up.Neither of us moves.
You say “come here” like nothing happened,like the glass beside the sink grew teeth by itself.I watch you wipe the counter cleanand leave the hard part where it fell.
My shoes are on.My coat is zipped.I’ve made it farther than this before.Then you look at me like I’m cruelfor wanting something softer than war.
You don’t say sorry.You say I’m tired.You say I heard you wrong.
DON’T MAKE ME SMALLSO YOU CAN CALL THIS LOVE.DON’T HOLD ME CLOSEJUST TO SEE WHAT I’LL GIVE UP.I KNOW THAT LOOK.I KNOW THAT TONE.I KNOW THE SECONDI STOP BEING MY OWN.IF I HAVE TO DISAPPEARTO KEEP YOU CALM—THEN YOU NEVER LOVED ME.YOU LOVED ME GONE.
There’s toothpaste drying on your shirt.You’re almost funny when you’re not trying to win.That’s the part that ruins me—how ordinary you can befive minutes after getting under my skin.
I know your order.I know your mother’s birthday.I know which side you sleep on when you’re sick.Knowing someone isn’t safety.Sometimes it only makes the knife more specific.
You call me dramatic.I call it memory.My body learned before I did.
DON’T MAKE ME SMALLSO YOU CAN CALL THIS LOVE.DON’T HOLD ME CLOSEJUST TO SEE WHAT I’LL GIVE UP.I KNOW THAT LOOK.I KNOW THAT TONE.I KNOW THE SECONDI STOP BEING MY OWN.IF I HAVE TO DISAPPEARTO KEEP YOU CALM—THEN YOU NEVER LOVED ME.YOU LOVED ME GONE.
I kept waiting for one terrible nightbig enough to justify leaving.There wasn’t one.
There were hundredssmall enough to explain away.
NO MORE “YOU’RE TOO MUCH.”NO MORE “LOOK WHAT YOU STARTED.”NO MORE MAKING ME BLEEDTHEN ACTING BROKENHEARTED.KEEP YOUR VERSION.KEEP YOUR PEACE.I’D RATHER SHAKE OUTSIDETHAN ROT HERE QUIETLY.
DON’T MAKE ME SMALL.I’M DONE CALLING IT LOVE.I CAN MISS YOUR HANDSAND STILL NOT WANT THEIR TOUCH.I KNOW THAT LOOK.I KNOW THAT TONE.AND THIS TIMEI’M TAKING MYSELF HOME.
Your phone lights up.
I let it ring.
